Those who know us know that our unique lifestyle in the military is one that involves many sacrifices, being flexible, and, often times, doing things you don't necessarily want to do. Does it suck at times? Yes. Do I have a choice? Not really. But, I realize that this is our reality. This is our life. This is what we both signed up for. I hold on to the hope and reasoning that says "everything happens for a reason" and "the universe tends to unfold as it should." That helps me maintain a level of sanity.
One thing that almost everyone understands -- whether they are civilians or military families themselves -- is the fact that we move quite frequently. This can be seen in a few ways. On one hand, it's an exciting and adventurous opportunity to experience life in interesting places and you get to meet so many different friends and people. On the other hand, particularly when it comes to forming a family through adoption or other means, it's a pain in the @$$. To plan things around such an unpredictable and ever changing life is tricky to say the least. Particularly when you need to shell out thousands of dollars for home studies, paperwork, or even medical procedures, etc.
The bottom line is that the Husband has informed me that it would probably be best if we held off pursuing anything full-force until we move to our next assignment/base. This is due largely to the uncertainty of when this move will occur. We were originally expecting to be out of here by the end of 2010. However, a bit over six months ago, we were informed that we should expect to remain here for possibly another year on top of that -- which would be roughly late 2011! The later date would have been convenient if we were to expect a relatively smooth and average adoption timeline. But, there's no guarantee there. A number of our friends who were also informed that they should expect to remain here til 2011 have recently discovered that they will be moving in the middle of 2010! Which, as you can imagine, confuses the heck out of us and makes us very uneasy about pursuing an adoption at this point in time. To do so, would be reckless and irresponsible on our part -- not just for our finances and stress levels, but also to our future children, who need us to be 100% focused on them and their transitioning into our new family life.
The new plan has been to do all of our research and pre-game planning here and probably wait until we get to our next assignment and really hit the ground running! That way, we'd have the time and flexibility that would increase the likelihood that we will have time and stability to help our child(ren) in their transition. See, we started exploring our options at the end of 2008 and really started looking into adoption in 2009, roughly a year to year and a half into our time here at our current base. Considering the expected wait times and general timelines that others have had, it would not be wise for us to proceed at this point.
Another consideration of this "reality check" involves the aspect of strategy and how it relates to the decisions we make in the next year or so. My husband is at a critical point in his career that requires him to be extremely flexible and devoted to his career to ensure his competitiveness amongst his peers as he moves on to the next couple of promotions. Sure, it's HIS career, but it's a career that really does involve the entire family's lives. Not only do I need him to be stable and successful in his job to provide a comfortable and healthy life for the family, but I need him to be stable, comfortable, and healthy enough to be a good father and supportive partner. It really IS *OUR* life. We are in this together. I knew what I was getting myself into when I met him and have been mindful of this as we progressed through each stage of our life TOGETHER. We will get through this stage of our life even stronger!
On a positive note, the blessing in all of this is that I have been given more time to interact with more adoptive families who've been down this path before and have been able to gain more advice from all of my friends who are parents already! I have always been a meticulous researcher in everything that I do, so this is right up my alley. I can't say that I will have everything figured out when the big day comes, but believe you me, I am going to be verrrrry well-prepared!
Our lives are so freaking hectic and busy right now. I know that this is just how it is and how it's going to be for a little while. I understand the reasons why. I accept them. But, I am an impatient person. Yes, I know I need to work on this. I am. I really have come a long way, baby! HEHE I think we are both at a point where we are looking forward to a time when we can reasonably settle down and fully embrace this next chapter in our lives.
Reality isn't always a fun thing to come to terms with, but I remain hopeful and dedicated. My eyes are focused on the big picture and I will not be discouraged. I will strive not to see this as a set-back, but rather an opportunity to get even more prepared for our future children.
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